i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize