So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize