Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
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