"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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