You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
