Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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