I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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