There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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