Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
