Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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