the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
