I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
