I wish I only lived at night.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
