kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Randomize
