Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
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