im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
