Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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