Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Still dying that you shit outside
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
