please come you make the beer taste better
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
