Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
