i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
