Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Randomize
