I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I need moral support for this bender
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize