Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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