Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You ate ashes out of my bong
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
