I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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