I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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