grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
