oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
