Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
