next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
