If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
