It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize