great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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