The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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