they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
