how hairy? two words: wookie tits
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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