just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
