Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
