ya dads aren't the best wingmen
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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