david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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