Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
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