i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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