Jerry, you need to find god
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
