First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
