It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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