Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
