Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
