he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
