I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
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She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
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I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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