whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize