there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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