no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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