I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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