yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
