as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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