Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
