awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
