I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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