She said her name was "party"
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
