I think my vagina is haunted
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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