i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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